Wife-In-Chief

I’m on a path of self improvement, and its making me really look at myself. In the midst of this process I came across this blog and wanted to share some it with you as well as some of my own thoughts. Enjoy!

Women who have "Superior Wife Syndrome" or are the "Wife-In-Chief" for the family. These are the wives and moms who do all the family multi-tasking, planning, ordering, and God forbid (*insert dramatic gasp*)... essentially run the household.

First and foremost, here are the three rules they suggest wives use on their HUSBANDS. Please note this is in capital letters because yes, I am virtually yelling at you. The reason will be apparent in the next few sentences.

1. Ask for small request and favors.

Example: Honey? Can you please take out the trash that I have previously loaded up, compacted, and spritzed with a refreshing spray of Febreze for your packing out pleasure? I even put that 200 pound garbage can on the dolly so you wouldn't hurt your poor back.

2. Gradually move on to larger tasks.

Example: Honey? Now that I have made a complete 12 course dinner, including hand thrown dinner plates and blown glass mugs, can I pretty please ask you to load the dishwasher? I know honey, it's a lot to ask but do you think you could at least load up the silverware? Pretty please?

3. Give positive reinforcement.

Example: Babe! You did such an awesome job putting the cap back on the toothpaste! Tomorrow we'll work on the errant curly hairs in the tub. In the meanwhile, here's a new issue of "Babes-n-Bucks" and a frosty cold one to wet your thirst! Can I rub your feet since I bet you're exhausted from that twisting motion of replacing the cap!

Yes, I am a Wife-In-Chief and I wear the title well. To damn well to the point that my husband thinks I’m some Super Hero and I can handle everything! Christmas, birthdays, and weddings just happen in my family. Banking decisions, daily menus, and shopping trips just happen in my family. New jackets, fresh boxes of Kleenexes, and computer paper just happen in my family. Do you get what I'm saying? I think most women are walking in the same pair of flip flops I'm rocking - we run the house so things happen. If we wait for the hubby to take care of business, well it's probably not gonna happen.

I know a marriage is based on teamwork - especially when children are introduced into the mix. And I agree when the three hags stressed that we should be able to relax in our relationships - burping, farting, and snot blowing is prevalent in my own household. However, when they follow up such comments with references to the hubby leaving the house for work and the wife staying home with the kids and household - I'm just not buying it. Folks, we're not in the 1950's anymore - most of us are upside down in bad mortgages and are struggling to make ends meet with both mom and dad working full-time jobs. Cheerleading should occur - but it should be a mutual relationship. It's not my job to by my hubby's mother - he has one and she does a fine job in that role.

In conclusion...my rant is almost over... I had to laugh when the biddies final comments included not approaching their hubbies when you're feeling "cranky or irritated." I'm sorry, but is there a day when a women isn't feeling like this? It's called life. Unless I have a ton of Valium and Xanax on board, with a bib to catch the and dripping drool, I can't put on a happy face to coach the Hubby into doing jobs he should be doing already - and without the promise of sexual favors and fresh baked cookies. In the words of Roseanne Barr, “Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.”Husbands complain that the only time you complain about me is when its that time of the month. That’s because I can tolerate you the other times of the month at the wrong time of the month you need to watch the f*&# out!

If you're a man reading this posting, I'm sure you are a step ahead of most guys - for one thing, there is only one picture in those positing and that means you had to read a lot of words!! In all seriousness, I love men and I'm exaggerating their weaknesses in order to prove my point. My problem and gripe lies in shows like this which try to draw lines in relationships and make the women look and feel like a overbearing biotches. I'd love to see them do a show for men with a similar set of rules for their wives, but you know that's never gonna happen - the estrogen crew will keep on keepin' on, just like we always have.

Whoo! Rant over. Thanks for hangin' and readin'.