Tuesday, October 6, 2009


So I’ve had a lot going in my life this last few years (as we all do). I have some inner demons that I’m on the path of rebuking. There are some lessons that I’ve learned about myself, and the one thing that I keep finding myself going back to is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect for myself and respect for others, having good manners I believe goes hand in hand, saying please and thank you to the cashier or bus driver even when you’re in a rush, turning your phone off at the movies and not texting while other movie watchers can’t pay attention to the movie because they’re looking at the glow of your cell phone, using your outdoor voice while on your cell phone on public transportation.

In today’s world being rude is so rampant, but it shouldn’t mean that acting respectfully doesn’t matter anymore. In fact, respect is more important than ever because it’s so rare. We don’t have to come in contact with people anymore. You don’t need face to face communication. We have cell phones with texting, and videos. We have instant messaging, MySpace and Facebook, and online game playing, online school, and online jobs. We don’t have to go outside anymore, and people have forgotten how to talk to one another.

Being of a family that is primarily from the South you pick up on some Southern Kindness and hospitality. I’m not trying to say my manners are impeccable, believe me it has been plenty of times my husband has cleaned up or made a meal, and didn’t show my appreciation cause I was tired or angry at him, but what I am saying is being brought up a certain way instills things into you that you carry through your adult life. Like till this day, I only speak when I’m spoken to and respect my elders, I try to be more out there, but it’s forced because that’s not the way I was brought up. I was taught to treat others with respect, acknowledging the value of others and being mindful of their feelings, and at the same time imagining myself in their position by listening, seeing the best in others, and showing gratitude.

People want to feel valued and acknowledged. If you don’t know where someone is coming from how is it possible to show them genuine respect. So you need to listen to find out. Pay attention to them to show that you care and you’re genuinely interested. They might be extra nice to you next time you really need them. ,

When you listen and learn what matters to the next person you give them an opportunity to show you there best self, therefore helping you to see the best in them. Ask people questions that allow them to share their smarts and thoughts and in return they’ll respect your curiosity and interest. People like to shine (brag) and they like to do it with people that allow them to do it. It helps with kids as well as adults. Praise positivity.

Instead of mumbling a half “thanks” when your husband comes through the door with groceries. Let him know that you appreciate him taking the time out to do the groceries, (I am also guilty of doing this), show his a little gratitude. You’re showing how much you care and allowing the power of respect and the loyalty and trust to make your bonds stronger. I hate to sound older than my years, but people just aren’t loyal like they used to be. Their word doesn’t mean anything. You know the old saying if you don’t have your word then you don’t have a lot, or something like that, but its true. We need to get back to the basics, and start caring about the next person. Go back to when it took a village to raise a child. Be a good example for your kids, so they’ll know how to act. Respect yourself and respect others.

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