(Day 3) Getting Unstuck

Soul Music and Love

I guess that's why they call it soul music because it touches your soul.  This is a pre-warning this post may get a little real so there may be cursing and some things that some may think I should have kept to myself but I'm an artist and I have to express myself and this is my Got damn blog so I can post whatever in the hell I want to post so that's what I'm going to do no matter how jumbled it is or how mean it may seem.  I'm hurting righting now.  I've prayed, I've screamed, I've sat in bed, I tried watching TV, I tried scrolling on fb, but all thats happening on there is sadness and another shooting of another black man this time in Baton Rouge, his name Alton Sterling. I prayed again for his family and all the families that have to be going through this ridicuouless and pray that I never feel the pain they feel.  Afterwards I decided to get up and try sewing (by the way I'm excited to show you all what I've created) but had to stop doing that because the flow and the ugly crying while serging brought me to my next love...writing.

Its funny that when you're in love music is the beautiful melody that writes the soundtrack of your love, when you're determined music gives you the fire to achieve your mission and when you're sad music is that soft pillow soaking up your tears.  Its also funny that when your personal relationship isn't going right everything reminds to of that person; food, places you go, and the words in the songs.
There is a 90's R/B singer by the name of Mona Lisa.  She had a song called You said.  I hear this song and it has so many meanings for me.  I believe this song was written because of her relationship with her Dad and I relate to it so much with a lot of the men in my life especially now.  When you give your heart to someone and you commit to spend your life with them there is a promise made.

You said you'd never leave me
On my own You said you'd never leave me All alone
You said you'd never leave me On my own

And I Never should have gave my heart
Should've never let you in my life
Gave my heart and soul and mind
And I Never thought that we'd be this way
Should've never started to believe things you said
How could you not communicate With me



I was told that I love hard, and I guess I do.  This next song that brought me to tears is Super Star by Floetry featuring Common.   There is one line in this song that I feel is one of the greatest sentences every created in life.  It goes, My love is honest and true and I can prove it babe. My love is.  Its the purest thing, and the greatest gift I can every give some one, and I shouldn't have to prove it you should know and you would know. To take advantage of that is a crime.




I'll end this with another of my favorites.  At the end she say sings this words that I like to say our my prayer to God so when I'm singing along with her I'm praying my heart out, and I'm leaving it to God because I know I'm going to be alright...

I'm gonna be around, 'cause I've got
God on my side
It's alright
Heavenly father hear my prayers
It's alright
'Cause I know your always with me
It's alright
You'll always be right here with me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna
It's alright
Be alright, I'm gonna be alright
'Cause now I understand why you had to leave me
It's alright

Consistency

The word of the day is... Consistency

The word consistency is more and more making an appearance in my life. I'm finding myself getting upset not only with with people around me, including my husband but also with myself in my relationship with my kids, my business, and my marriage.

 We all know that children are sponges and they are watching us. So we have to set positive examples for them. We can't expect big things from them if we're not providing a consistent example of what big things are.

I'm also realizing that I need to be more consistent in my business. This consistency determines how successful I am. I'm currently working on being more active with blogging and having more interaction with fans and supporters on social media. Becoming more proactive on my email listing, and creating more merchandise. This is all an effort in trying to achieve my goal of becoming more consistent, hence becoming more successful in my business.

I'm also making more of an effort to be consistent in

Isn't Marriage spelled wrong;-/

my marriage by not being so focused on the things that are going wrong but being more encouraging, showing acknowledgment, and creating more opportunities for intimacy.

Being consistent is very important in all relationships if we can push ourselves more and show that we care more I believe we'll all be consistently happy. :-)

The Ring?

Walking my son to school I have had several conversations about my wedding ring set with the school crossing guard. She notices when I have my rings on, she notices when I don't have my rings on; mind you my rings are not big at all. In fact combined they're probably about a total of 1 carat maybe one and a half but that's over the entire set.

My husband and I have been married going on 10 years this year, and I only recently started taking my rings off when I'm mad at him, but before the last 6 months or so.  I've only taken my rings off because they are tight, and even when my fingers are swollen I still kept them on which causes cuts, and discomfort with makes me have to take them off so that my finger can heal.

The crossing guard tells me that it shouldn't matter how the rings look what matters is that your husband gave it to you which I agree with her about, but at the same time this is a piece of jewelry that you will see on your finger for a lifetime and you should love it not only for sentimental value but in the physical appearance. Don't get me wrong my set is what I wore when I promised my commitment to my husband before God and I love the set for what it represents but when I was hinting to my husband the kind of rings I wanted by obviously leaving rings on computer screens, and leaving printouts around the house, and telling him how pretty certain rings were; he totally went got me something that I would not pick for myself which is good in some cases... Let's just say that I've grown to love wedding set.

Anyways, after having multiple conversations with the crossing guard I have realized that many people in this world believe that it's all about the ring and getting proposed to.  If my boyfriend proposes to me I'm going to be happy for life and that's just not the case. Finding someone who is willing in to put your needs ahead of his own, someone who would do any and everything for you, and the family the both of you plan on creating, someone who will make you his world even if that means that he needs to push himself in order to make you happy, having the one who is a good communicator.  If you find someone to do these things then that is the world! Yes, Beyonce's song "should've put a ring on it" is very catchy, but it is not the whole story. What do you think? Is the ring everything?

Happy Real Year

This is going to probably be the realest post that I have ever done, and I admit cause I have partaken in the drinking of 5 bottles of spirits this New Years Eve, and yes I am an Entrepreneur professional, but I am also a human being and I am an artist, and so much more, and I have a couple things to get off of my chest.   I am absolutely determined to not go into the new year with BS from anyone which includes my family.  Why is it freaking New Years and instead of my Husband walking to me and giving me a new years kiss he is screaming at me to come here, and because I don't get up he just sits back down?  Whatever happened to fighting for what you love, or going after what you want?  Especially since your wife has pointed out a few things that she would like you for you to work on, and you have agreed that you need to.  Yes, I could of gotten out of my deep seating couch sectional experience and simply gotten up as was requested of me.  However, I have said time, and time again after cooking a full turkey, dressing, baked macaroni, and collard greens, ham, and sweet potatoes meal all by myself for Thanksgiving and Christmas that I wasn't doing anything but sitting on my ass for new years, and thats exactly what I was going to do.  Excuse me, MF!  I'm tired too!  Why do I have to always meet your ass half way, 3/4 of the way or all the way?  Can you do something on your own for fucking once?  Yeah, yeah, anybody that knows me is probably shaking their heads right now, and calling me all types of hypocrite, and Te, thats not how a marriage is supposed to me. Shawnte you're not supposed to put you marriage out there like that, but you know what who's there for me right now to vent to about this MF? Nobody! So this is what I'm doing to  make myself feel better about this asswhole.  Deal with it!  The mission of my business is to make women feel like they are worthy of being worshiped.  To think about themselves for change, self care!  Care for your loved ones around you; nurture them, love on them, but also don't forget to do the same for yourselves, and sometimes you just have to vent, and right now I'm doing just that.  This is my mission for my business, because this is what I'm passionate about its something that I also want for my life, for myself.  Maybe I'm wrong talking about my not knowing how to handle his liquor husband, but this is what makes me feel good at this moment, and him, and anyone else that doesn't like it can kiss my you know what!

This is a great way to start the new year, but to make it positive here's to standing up for myself, and working towards filling my empty cup! Happy New Year!!!

FREE or am I?

So, its #freefrom5yearoldweekend, and I wake up this morning with the house quiet, my uninterrupted dreams settling, not a gigle, not a cartoon, not a repreminding stop, or running, or heavy walking from my husband, and I'm like what do I do?  At serene moments like this in the past, BKAH (Before kids and husband) I would write, so thats what I'm doing (WARNING: THIS WILL BE A LONG POST.).  My last post has been over a year and my have things changed, but some things have stayed the same.

For starters, my son is well adjusted in a new school, with a great patient teacher that I believe takes her time to listen to the kids.  I know he has his days when he's a bit much, but that expected from 4 - 5year olds.  My husband did loose his job, which has been a very challenging experience for us, but I have to feel that the end of this experience is drawing near, and did I tell you all that I'm expecting?  6 months, 1 week and 5 days, Oh yes the count down has begun!

My Mountain of a stomach at the bottom of the pic.  My son holding the Blue bumble bee and mirror.  He said the baby wants to listen to music and look at himself in the mirror, lol.

I have been so sick with this pregnancy with nausea, ER trips, smells, pelvic pains, etc, I swear once I have this baby (TéShawn, the pronunciation of my name Shawnté backwards :-)) out, no Doctor or Nurse will be able to stop me from doing car wheels down the hallways of the triage! Oh, and I can't wait to get that first glass of wine, or a Strawberry MARGARITA!!!!!!  Ok, moving on, The Isis Collections is still going strong, however I have shut down my website.  It was just to  hard trying to reconstruct it with everything that's going on. I just decided to save money, and start on it again when things are more settled.  However, I still have contact with customers via facebook, phone (773-988-5781), and email.

So I believe, I've caught you up, on with the present.  Yesterday, my son left for his first sleep over.  My wonderful SIL and BIL were courageous enough to take on the responsibility of adding one more crazy child to their 2, and I am lost with emptiness, but doing my happy dance at the same time. I so appreciate them, and wish them all the luck in  the world, LOL!

So, rather than sleep (which I should be doing) I'm trying to take advantage of the absolutely very rare occasion and take some much needed time with my hubby.  Last night we went to the Shrine,

to support a good friend of mind Adad (Rapper) aka Demetrius (cannot call him by his stage name, just doesn't sound right.  I mean we met working at Bloomingdale, lol.) who performed before Raekwon of the Wu tang.  Needless to say Demetruis was GREAT as usual (love) the socks), but Raekwon I did not see, because my entire back area started screaming out in pain, from standing up so long, and protecting my belly from all of the pushy people.  Yes, I know I should not have been their at the concert, but I had to go support, especially on a rare occasion of not having my child with me, not having to rush back to him, and actually having the means to go out somewhere!  Thanks again Demetrius for putting us on the list!  We ended the night by getting some Good ol' Harolds Chicken at 1am, and crashing.

I don't know if it was my hormones, or if it was the unfamiliarity of us going out on a date, or the whole I got you already, I don't need to do much more that made my husband not act like we was on a date, but tonight we're going to work on that when we finally go see Tempation.  Wish us luck Gods & Goddesses!  Have  a great weekend, cause I will. Its #freefrom5yearoldweekend!!!!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday (My Husband...Happy Birthday...)

Music Monday!

After doing a 2 day show, with the 2nd day being rained out, and having to rush to put everything up, going to the air & water show, and Chucke Cheese my body is aching, and I just want to hide under all of my pillows and stay there, but a Mompreneur's/Goddess's work is never done. We're off to the Shedd Aquarium, then its taking photos of new items, and working on one of my other big projects.  So today is a real pick me up, to get my body moving.  Hope it works for you and I.  Good Morning Everyone!!!!

Pull It Together Tuesday! (I Need an Assistant!!!)

As a Mompreneur work never gets done!  There is always something to do!  Fun time with my Son, windexing, pledging, sweeping, mopping, laundry, vacuuming, fun time with Husband, shopping, paying bills, creating, sales, marketing, vending, etc.

Right now as I look around my apartment at the pile of business plan papers, catalog papers, ideas of new projects, laundry, dishes, mirrors with finger prints, dusty figurines, toys spiradically placed, and juice spots on the floor and carpet I can only shake my head, and feel the pounding in my head that is screaming I NEED AN ASSISTANT!!!!

She would be perfectly fine being  paid with Jewelry and food, she would love kids, and love beading new creations.  She would know how to put together a successful business plan.  She would love to go on walks with me during down time and throw ideas off of one another.  She would be a fashionista, in the loop of different events and parties going around Chicago, New York and other fabulous places, and know the next spot to go to Spread the word of The Isis Collections.  She would be a social networking queen!  She wouldn't mind baby sitting at least once a month so hubby and I can get our groove back.  She would not only be a value to TIC, but she would be my good friend...


*sigh* In a perfect world that would be great!  However  its back to reality!

What do you need to pull together?

Pull It Together Tuesday!

I'll be honest, I over analyze things sometimes, and this drives my Husband crazy!  I can over analyze things so much, that I can deter myself from my own dreams, and I kind of did that.  I have been letting loose ends and indecisiveness along with fatigue stop me from acting on my dreams of owning a store front, but now I'm back on it.

I've pulled it together this Tuesday!

I've made my phone calls, sent emails, and put some footwork into The Isis Collections, and I'm expecting some big positive things (Just to put it out there).

Only thing left to do, is grow, and make money!  Would you like to earn FREE or discounted Jewelry?  Book an online jewelry part today!  Click here for details.

Thankful Thursday!

On this Thankful Thursday, I'm thankful for all of the real Fathers of the Word.

We need you, We appreciate you, We're Thankful For you!

Pull if Together Tuesday (Victorious!)

Continuing with change today on this Pull it Together Tuesday, when I quit my job in order to positively strengthen my marriage, nurture my son, and build my business. I knew that it was a huge step that involved major change in my life, but I had no ideal about the level of change. It is indeed a process that is very challenging to enjoy, but I can honestly say that I am enjoying the struggle, cause I know that the outcome for my family will be nothing but success, because my Father God is guiding me! These obstacles will be Pulled Together and we will be Victors!

This week, I'll be continuing to love my husband, and other family, potty training, registering my big boy FOR PRESCHOOL!!!!! Being active on Etsy, updating the measurement descriptions on the website, putting together this seasons newsletter (if u would like go sign up for our newsletters, click here.), working on my business plan, preparing for this coming weekends Custers Last Stand Arts Festival in Evanston, and getting my purses together for the RWOC Volunteer project at.

Whew! I can't wait til my vacation next week!

What do u need to Pull Together?

Keep it Moving Music Monday!!!!

I'm switching things up this Music Monday.  Their was good effort to make my Mother's Day a great one, but to make things truly great, I've realized that great effort has to be made on my part.  There are very few things that my son can do without me, and my Husband is not his best at all without me, so unfortunately as bad as I want my family and friends to do things without me, its just not going to happen.  So IT'S KEEP IT MOVING MUSIC MONDAY.  Hopefully this keeps you going this week, and myself!